Sunday 15 July 2012

Range Rovered

By now you all know that Rangers are crap. They deal with money as though life is one big game of monopoly and it got them in deep trouble. Naughty naughty, shakey finger in your face. Anyway, remember your favourite doll when you were little? Well, it was never really your favourite, it just somehow survived throughout time and somehow managed to end up in your house every time you moved to try and escape in what could only be down to a real life Toy Story moment. Yeah, that toy. Anyway, it's as shabby as sin and then the dog bites his head off and an eye goes missing. Your drunk nan comes in and after singing the entire rendition of seven drunken nights, she decides to fix this doll for you and it ends up like this....




Yeah well this doll represents Rangers Newco. All the giblets off the factory floor have been glued together and have been voted back into the fourth tier of Scottish football. The tier comprised of men whose full time jobs are at the likes of Greggs and they use shirts for goal posts. Can someone remind me why Scottish footba even exists, please!? It's all over my head.  To get an idea of the differences between Rangers and their new opponents, here is a little chart showing average attendances:




Only 46,003 to go East Stirling. Laughing Stock. The lemon is not lemony enough. Almonds are massive in Sicily. Maybe Rangers are too. I wonder what the odds are on Celtic to win the SPL next season?

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